Thoughtful Thursday

Today, I'm thinking about the different seasons of life.  Not necessarily those seasons of time – childhood, motherhood, empty nest; but rather the seasons of God's work in our life.

I've had seasons of pain, seasons of loneliness, seasons of joy, seasons of blessings…lots of different seasons we could mention.

I told Doug this week that I think – right now – we are in a season of confrontation.

And all I can say to that is "grrrrrrrrr…"!

I hate confrontation.

I hate it SO much.

I avoid it like the plague that it is!

I will let you walk all over me…

I will take it on the chin…

I will turn the other cheek…

I will suffer myself to be defrauded (I Corinthians 6:7)…

And then I will just let it go

before I will engage you in a confrontation!

I've also learned that if I am not willing to confront you and accept all the risks that the confrontation brings, then I'd better forgive you quickly, because unforgiveness only hurts me. 

So I have spent a great deal of effort, time and prayer learning to forgive those who have offended me.

So that's what I do in most cases.

Lately, though, our family has just had a season of offenses:

  • Some have been situations that we will be writing letters and naming names about. 
  • Some have been financial offenses – to the tune of over $100! 
  • Some have been small "I can't believe you just said that to me!" scenarios.
  • Some have been offenses against Isaac.
  • Some have been of the "Just be quiet and DO your JOB!" variety.

No matter what the situation, though, they all dealt with some sort of confrontation…which I hate, in case you didn't catch it the first time I said it!

1. Some of these things I have confronted immediately

The financial one comes to mind – I was buying another set of frames for my glasses and the tech scratched a huge gouge in one of my lens!  I could not walk away from that. I had to deal with it right away.  Afterwards, I replayed the situation over and over in my mind, wondering how I could have handled it differently, wondering if I handled it correctly.

2. Some of the situations I did not confront at the time

There was a more important focus for me right then – my child's wellbeing.  I cannot verbally attack a medical worker when my child is in pain in the middle of a procedure.  I have to stay calm to keep Isaac calm.  His peace of mind trumps my anger every time.  Afterwards, though, my anger dissipates, and I am tempted to let the situation slide.  However, I know that if I do, there is a good chance that this "doctor" will do the same thing again.  If I don't speak up – by writing a formal letter of complaint – I am endangering other children.  Can I really have that on my conscience?

3. One of the situations, I have decided to confront by resolving the situation on my own. 

Yes, someone else is supposed to do it.  Someone else will be reaping the benefit of it being done.  Most likely, someone else will get paid for the time I take to do the job.  But if I don't do the job, it won't get done, and the result will be money out of my pocket.  So, to save my family money, I will do the thing myself.  Eventually, the truth will be known and that is enough for me.

4. Then there is another situation where someone put my child's health at risk by not disclosing their family  member's extremely contagious infection.  I can't confront these people. 

I don't even know them.  We are only connected by our mutual acquaintances, but the danger for Isaac's health is very real.  There's nothing I can do about it, either, except to put up additional safeguards for Isaac here in our home. How dare they value their privacy above their responsibility to those involved?  I really, really, really want to confront them; but it really is not my place to do so.

All of these situations have occurred in the last 3 weeks.  It just seems to be coming from everywhere. 

I don't know whether the Lord is trying to teach me to speak up or to shut up!!!

(On second thought, perhaps it's a bit of both.)

I do know that in nearly every instance, neither fear nor anger will help resolve the situation.

I also know that I will not have a clue how to act in any situation unless I have a moment-by-moment relationship with my Heavenly Father.  If I am not spending time in His Word each day, to get my daily manna, I will be empty; and I will default to emotions that are neither healthy nor helpful.

So…I'm wondering what the next confrontation will be.  Will I get better at handling them as they come, if I keep practicing?  How many confrontations does it take until I'm a pro???  (If it's anything like the licks that it takes to get to the center of the tootsie role pop, I might be in trouble here!)

I sure could use some extra prayer for ME during this season. 🙂

Are YOU in a particular season? 

Can I help you pray about it? 

Please feel free to leave me a comment here or on Facebook,if you'd like me to pray with you about the season you are facing.

(I will pray that you become a "PRO" in your season really quickly, too!)

;o)

Blessings to you,

Alesha

 

2 Replies to “Thoughtful Thursday”

  1. Man, I wish I had read this yesterday. Sad to say I tried to resolve a situation in anger….you are right… It did nothing but make it worse. 😦
    I am praying for you!!!! You have such wisdom!

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  2. Aw, Bren…I’m sorry you had to deal with confrontation, too. It just wears you out, doesn’t it? Sometimes, when we do it the wrong way, though, it does help us LEARN not to do that AGAIN! lol! Not the best way to learn, but depending on our personality, sometimes it necessary. I’ll be praying for you too. THANK YOU for praying for me!!!

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