Author: ObtainingMercy

I Forgot I Was Grieving

by ObtainingMercy, posted in Uncategorized

I am, on balance, a fairly happy person.

I love the Lord, and I
love my life.  I feel content in most circumstances.  Even if I get
temporarily thrown off my usual stride, I can usually find my
equilibrium, so to speak, pretty quickly.

You see, I like peace.  I like to feel peaceful.  I dislike anxiety, fretfulness and worry.

So, I'm learning to focus on my Lord, and to allow His peace to fill me.

That is why I have been extremely frustrated with my self the past month or so. 

I
have not felt very peaceful.  I have been quite fretful.  I have been
grouchy, cantankerous, and (I say it to my shame) a tad unforgiving
lately.

And I don't like being that way!

I have been unhappy with myself that I am feeling unhappy with others and with life in general.

Then, this morning, I was working with Isaac, listening to the music playing in his room, and I just burst into tears.

The song was about Heaven.  I hear songs about Heaven several times every day.  I don't usually break down over them.

This
song, however, was about our friends and loved ones who are already in
Heaven, how we miss them, and how happy we will be to see them again.

Then I remembered.

Gail.

I am still grieving over losing Gail.

Don't
get me wrong.  I think about Gail every day – usually more than once a
day.  I mostly think of things that I want to tell her — then I
remember that I can't.  So, I move my thoughts on to something else, and
get on with my day.

But grief eventually needs its outlet, doesn't it?

I
can't keep just pushing it aside for other things, because that's where
the discontent comes from.  That's why I'm so easily frustrated and
angered and why I hold on to those feelings longer than usual.

I've pushed aside the grieving to get on with my life, but the sadness just isn't disappearing. 

So,
today, when I burst into tears, I should have just let those tears
continue until I was finished with the crying.  As usual, I stopped them
so that I could go about my business.

I think the next time they
start, I'm just going to indulge them for a little while.  Maybe some of
the anger, fretfulness, anxiety, unforgiveness with flow away with the
tears.

Yeah, so I remembered I'm still grieving.  That's ok.  I
think I will just give myself a little break today, and grieve for my
sweet friend who I am missing so very much.

Our God is such a
great God to create us to feel so many emotions, and then build into our
very bodies the outlet for those emotions:  tears, laughter, and the
huge array in between the two.

I almost wonder that if I allow myself to cry, I will find that my laughter returns as well.

I just think it might.

I Forgot I Was Grieving

by ObtainingMercy, posted in A Door of Hope, Friendship, How Great is Our God, Just My Thoughts

I am, on balance, a fairly happy person.

I love the Lord, and I love my life.  I feel content in most circumstances.  Even if I get temporarily thrown off my usual stride, I can usually find my equilibrium, so to speak, pretty quickly.

You see, I like peace.  I like to feel peaceful.  I dislike anxiety, fretfulness and worry.

So, I'm learning to focus on my Lord, and to allow His peace to fill me.

That is why I have been extremely frustrated with my self the past month or so. 

I have not felt very peaceful.  I have been quite fretful.  I have been grouchy, cantankerous, and (I say it to my shame) a tad unforgiving lately.

And I don't like being that way!

I have been unhappy with myself that I am feeling unhappy with others and with life in general.

Then, this morning, I was working with Isaac, listening to the music playing in his room, and I just burst into tears.

The song was about Heaven.  I hear songs about Heaven several times every day.  I don't usually break down over them.

This song, however, was about our friends and loved ones who are already in Heaven, how we miss them, and how happy we will be to see them again.

Then I remembered.

Gail.

I am still grieving over losing Gail.

Don't get me wrong.  I think about Gail every day – usually more than once a day.  I mostly think of things that I want to tell her — then I remember that I can't.  So, I move my thoughts on to something else, and get on with my day.

But grief eventually needs its outlet, doesn't it?

I can't keep just pushing it aside for other things, because that's where the discontent comes from.  That's why I'm so easily frustrated and angered and why I hold on to those feelings longer than usual.

I've pushed aside the grieving to get on with my life, but the sadness just isn't disappearing. 

So, today, when I burst into tears, I should have just let those tears continue until I was finished with the crying.  As usual, I stopped them so that I could go about my business.

I think the next time they start, I'm just going to indulge them for a little while.  Maybe some of the anger, fretfulness, anxiety, unforgiveness with flow away with the tears.

Yeah, so I remembered I'm still grieving.  That's ok.  I think I will just give myself a little break today, and grieve for my sweet friend who I am missing so very much.

Our God is such a great God to create us to feel so many emotions, and then build into our very bodies the outlet for those emotions:  tears, laughter, and the huge array in between the two.

I almost wonder that if I allow myself to cry, I will find that my laughter returns as well.

I just think it might.

I Keep Reminding Myself

by ObtainingMercy, posted in Just My Thoughts

…that shorter posts are ok!  It's hard for me to just pop on here, say what's on my mind, then move on to the next thing.  Somehow, I feel the essentials of great writing must be observed here.

And, for the most part, I guess they should be.

But blogging is also about saying what's uppermost in your mind.

So, for what it's worth:

  • I've figured out that I get headaches when I'm dehydrated.  If we don't juice our veggies, I end up with a headache by mid-afternoon.
  • I made myself a smoothie.  I'm hoping it will help to rehydrate me. 🙂
  • I have not accomplished very much today.
  • I turned on the washer (that Doug had already filled), and after the first washing, I re-filled the Downy ball with vinegar and put the load on for it's second wash. (We wash all of Isaac's bed pads twice, with hot water, and use vinegar in the rinse.  It's the only way we've found to completely remove the urine smell.)
  • I've kept Isaac semi-content today.  It's been an all-day job! :o/
  • I did a little networking for my jewelry Facebook fan page, which leads to my Etsy site.
  • I got some jewelry packaged and ready to mail out tomorrow! 🙂
  • I checked the mail…it was greatly disappointing, except for the $10 off a $10 purchase for next week from JC Penney.
  • I guess that's all.

  • Oh, one more thing…is it just me, or do you have a hard time feeling content when everybody and their brother is vacationing and cruising and traveling?  I need to constantly stay on top of my attitude and spirit about that.  Whew…that's been an all-day job too. :o)  (I know many of them save all year for their vacations, so don't fuss at me.  I just mean that when I'm stuck at home, and others are not, I have to work on my attitude about that.  That's all.) :~D

I do hope that you feel your day has been profitable.  I'm a little conflicted on that today, as you can tell.  I'm hoping to work on some jewelry tonight…maybe that will help.  I'll let you know if I come up with anything FABulous! 🙂

Blessings to you,

Alesha

A Little Post on a Rainy Afternoon

by ObtainingMercy, posted in Blessings, Florida Weather, How Great is Our God, Isaac Update

I've felt like it's Monday all day today. 

Doug was sick and didn't go into work or take Isaac to therapy, so today was his first day of the week.  I guess that's why I've been 2 days behind!  Poor Doug, though, his cold settled into an eye infection.  A trip to the optometrist and an antibiotic for him today, and prayerfully, he'll be feeling better soon.

Isaac is sick too.  You know, that little cough and a intermittent low-grade fever.  Just doesn't feel good, but isn't sick enough to sleep all day either.  Well, except for last Friday, when he did sleep all day.  I thought the Lord was just giving me a little break, but it turned out that Isaac was getting sick after all.

I have been in the midst of a major pain flare, which hasn't happened in a really long time.  So, it has had me out of commission for the past week or so.  I am feeling some better today, although my back is giving me a little trouble. 

Doug and his boss had a special time of prayer for me today at work.  I didn't know anything about it, but suddenly I knew I was feeling better.  I texted Doug to tell him, and he shared that he and the boss prayed for me today.  How's that for a fast answer?  I was so relieved and thankful and overwhelmed.

We have been having these fantastic electrical thunderstorms quite often lately.  I really love them.  We always turn off the computers and the air conditioner, and just enjoy the show.  It's even better when I am near my bedroom window which opens onto the front porch.  It has an aluminum room, and the rain just sounds phenomenal out there. 

Our church is having a special time of giving this summer.  You know, the dip in the economy doesn't affect the Lord, but it does sometimes affect his children and their charitable giving.  Some folks have lost their jobs, others have had increased living expenses, and some are just too fearful to continue giving during an economic downturn.

Whatever the reason, giving has been somewhat diminished this summer, just like it was last summer.  God showed off for us during last summer's special offering, bringing in far more that our goal.  We are praying that our church members will be sensitive to the Lord's leading again this summer, so that the needs can be met.

With that in mind, I'll tell you what I did – only by way of sharing with you how good the Lord is to me.  We really don't have anything extra to give.  We do well to pay our bills each month.  So I asked the Lord if He would sell some jewelry for me this week.  And guess what!  He did!!!  One of my sweet, repeat customers made a purchase yesterday!!!

So, now, I can give a little something extra, too.  Isn't God good? 

He gives to me so that I can give back to Him!!!  

(I'm asking Him to bless my customer, too, and to meet her needs – whether financial, spiritual or physical.  And because I know her personally, I can pray specifically.)

I'm singing with my brother at church tonight, so I guess I'd better start getting myself together.  It seems like it takes a little longer these days to "get ready"!  I don't know whether to blame that on old age, or diminished eye sight!!!  Either way, I've got work to do, friends! 🙂

Blessings to you,

Alesha

Just Catching Up

by ObtainingMercy, posted in Hallelujah Diet, Isaac Update, What's Happening

Doug and Isaac are off to therapy today, so I have the privilege of enjoying a silent house!  Oh, how I love my quiet time!!! :)  Both of my boys like noise!  Hmmm…"boys like noise"…maybe I'm on to something here! lol!

We have had a good week.  Isaac visited his neurologist last week.  She suggested adding new meds or increasing meds, while watching him have seizure after seizure in the exam room.  I had to tell her, "Um…this really isn't a bad day for him!"

DSCN1088 

Waiting for the doctor…

He was occasionally coming out of the seizures, and even playing with his ribbons.  On a bad day, he just sleeps.

She had no answers, of course.  My personal opinion is that either his shunt does not work the same every day, or his brain does not put out the same amount of fluid every day.  Something is obviously fluctuating, when he has really great days, and really poor days.

But, such is life with Isaac.  The Lord is faithful on ALL the days, whether they are great or poor.  When it's time to consider something new, He will make it plain to us.  We cannot spend every day fretting about seizures.

My follow up at my doctor was good, as I told you in the last post, I have lost another 4 pounds.  That makes me very excited, because we have been working really diligently on our eating habits.  I'm so glad that the diligence paid off. 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~

When we came home from our appointments, my mom and dad were at my house trying to clean up.  Now, wait, they weren't cleaning up OUR mess…they were cleaning up DADDY's mess!  He has started drilling the holes for the air conditioner vents in the concrete walls of our house.

Can you even begin to imagine the layer of concrete chalk that covered every inch of my house???  No, unless you have experienced it yourself, you have no concept!  Ugh!  The floors especially were quite a mess.

I had used king size sheets to cover as much furniture as I could, and so that helped a little in the clean up; but the dust settled on every surface between the ceiling and the floor.  Every picture, ceiling fan, uncovered knickknack…you name it, it all had to be wiped down.

I am waiting to do the final dusting when he is completely finished.  He did all the holes but one!  I love him to pieces, but what in the world was he thinking, to leave one undone??? 

My mom said, "He was hot and hungry!"  

Well, ok then!  That explains it completely!!! :~D

~~~~~~~~~~

I have been very busy working on jewelry for the past 2 weeks.  I want to increase my sales, and am trying to implement as many things as I can to make that happen.  I know it's all in the Lord's hands, but I am doing my best to be diligent.

Doug's grandma is still healing nicely, and is feeling much better.  We are very excited about that.

Our teens had a great week at camp.  It was so good to see so many of them in church on Sunday.  Sunday night, several young men came forward to say they had accepted the Lord as their Saviour while out at camp last week, and that they wanted to follow the Lord in believer's baptism.  That was very exciting to see.

~~~~~~~

I saw something interesting while we were at Isaac's doctor's visit.  I thought I would share it with you.

DSCN1085 

Just a normal thing to see in the restroom…but wait, look closer…

DSCN1086 

Still can't read it?  Here…this should help!

Install

Considering that the building we were in is state-owned, I couldn't help but chuckle!!!  (and take a picture for the blog, of course!)
~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I still have several projects to do today, so I better finish this up.

Blessings to you,

Alesha

Creative Spark Friday and Announcing a New Blog

by ObtainingMercy, posted in Hallelujah Diet, Links to Share, What's Happening

Becky Caldwell, over at The Gritty Bird, has started a fun challenge for jewelry designers (and other like minded crafty people) to create a new and exciting piece of art each week.

THE WEEK'S (7/16-7/23) SPARKS ARE-

1. *Creative Spark* Color(s)-

Teal and/or Orange 

2. *Creative Spark* Word or Phrase-

Float

3. *Creative Spark* Wire or Stringing Material(s)-

Brass Wire and/or Ribbon

4. *Creative Spark* Bead Type(s)-

Ceramic

5. *Creative Spark* Shape(s)-

Oval

and for my mixed media gals..

6. *Creative Spark* Mixed Media Art Medium(s)-

Wood and Paper

This is what I came up with: 

creativespark1 

creativespark2

creativespark3

creativespark4 

creativespark5 

creativespark6

I had so much fun with this "spark", and it just so happened that I had the supplies on hand to join in.

Thank you, Becky, for such an exciting, creative challenge!

~~~~~~~~~~

I realize this is quite a different post than you are used to reading here.  I decided that I don't want to inundate you, my dear, faithful bloggy readers with too many "jewelry" posts. 

So, I did what bloggers do…

…I created a new blog!!!

Alesha Kay's Jewelry Blog

You will see a permanent link to it, up on the tabs above this post.  There are links available on that site, if you wish to subscribe by blog reader or by email.  I certainly won't have my feelings hurt if you do neither! ;o)

I hope you do go check it out, though, and give me your thoughts about it.  I always value your input.

I pray you have a great weekend.

Blessings,

Alesha

P.S. I have lost another 4 pounds, bringing my grand total to 31 pounds.  Yay!  We are feeling so much better now that we are back to eating well again. 🙂

P.P.S This necklace will be up in my Etsy shop this weekend!

Ode to a Summer Day in a Truck with Faulty Air Conditioning

by ObtainingMercy, posted in Florida Weather, Just My Thoughts

Yesterday, I complained MANY TIMES to my hubby: "It is SO hot!"

He
finally told me, "Yes, I know! Maybe you should write a praise and
worship song about it!!!"

So, to that end, I offer the following:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It Is So Hot Today

by Alesha

.

(jumping up and down to the driving guitar rhythm)

"It is so hot!  It is so hot!  Today it is so HOT!

"IT is so hot!  It IS so hot!  It is SO hot!  IT IS SO HOT!

"Today it is so h-o-o-o-o-t!"

.

(softer now, with hands raised, swaying to the gentle keyboard score)

"The hotness is overwhelming me,

"The heat is overcoming my soul,

"The burning sun is melting me,

"I am so hot toda-a-a-a-y" 

.

("John-Tesh-worthy" electronic violin solo HERE!)

.

(jumping in on the chorus)

"It is so hot!  It is so hot!  Today it is so HOT!

"IT is so hot!  It IS so hot!  It is SO hot!  IT IS SO HOT!

"Today it is so h-o-o-o-o-t!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feel free to add your own verses!!!

:o)

Have a great weekend (and stay COOL!),

Alesha